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Have you ever wondered why most people are better
speakers than listeners?
Or noticed when you were talking to someone, you can tell
by their response that they were only “half listening” to what you were
saying?
Well if you, or someone you know, is looking to become a
more effective networker, then Focused Attention is a great listening
technique to help you achieve that goal.
Fact: The human brain, on average, can think at a rate of
400 to 450 words per minute; the average person, however, can only talk at a
rate of 100 to 150 words per minute.
Let’s say you’re at a networking event, and you’re
listening to a really fast talker, somewhere in the neighbourhood of 150
words per minute. And while that person is talking, let’s say your brain is
thinking at a rate of 400 words per minute.
So if you’re thinking at a rate of 400 words per minute,
and the person you’re talking to is speaking at a rate of 150 words per
minute, then what you do with that “extra” capacity (400 words minus 150
words per minute) is going to determine how good a listener you are.
Focused attention says to concentrate 100 percent of your
attention on the message the other person is communicating.
Where is your attention focused?
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Are you planning your response while the other person is
talking, or are you understanding their point and making a few mental notes
to help you process it?
Are you scanning the room to find the next person you
want to meet, or if someone walks over, do you stop and devote your full
attention to this person?
The reason most people aren’t very good listeners is
because during most discussions, they’re spending their “extra” intellectual
capacity (those extra 250 words we were just talking about) on everything
other than the conversation at hand.
And in today’s email-typing, pager-answering,
voicemail-checking world where “multi-tasking” is very much en vogue,
everyone seems to be doing two or three things at once.
Recommendation: At your next networking event, make it a
point to “block out” everyone else in the room and focus your mental
attention on what this person is saying.
A friend of mine once told me that he met somebody who
went a step further than that: Whenever someone walked into his office, he
physically removed whatever documents he was working on from his desk, and
redirected his attention to that person. Wow! Now that sends a powerful
message.
Imagine if you could send that same message to someone
else in your life. It could be your spouse talking about their day at the
dinner table, or a person at work trying to get your opinion on an important
project they’re working on.
Concentrating 100 percent of your attention on that
person is a sure-fire way to make them feel their message is valued. And at
the end of the day, isn’t that what being a good listener is all about?
Brian Hilliard is a motivational speaker, and author of
the book Networking Like a Pro! If you're looking for new business or
looking for a new job, this is the book for you.
Brian Hilliard
bhilliard@agitoconsulting.com
Agito Consulting
http://agitoconsulting.com |